CHOFSHASH!!!

Me, Adam, Gidon and Matthew: first tastes of freedom!

חופש''ש!!!!!!!  Ok, let me try that one again: chofshash!!!!!  Alright, maybe one more time: release vacation!!!!!

One week ago yesterday (Monday, May 28th), Adam, Matthew, Gidon and myself turned in all of our combat equipment to the battalion, hopped on a bus, and left to begin the transition to civilian life.  This was a time I had been looking forward to for a long...loooong time.  Remember when I took a month vacation at home, had the time of my life, and returned in early January to begin winter training?  Yeah, it was about then that me, Adam and the others started to think about getting through the final months and making it to our chofshash.

And finally, it has come!

I returned to Nahariyya with the rest of my unit two weeks ago Sunday.  On the bus ride to base, I sat with one of my commanders from basic and advanced training, Chen.  He was one of the guys who punished me to no end when I would speak in English.  Well, he hasn't been my commander in a long time, and was just on a Birthright trip.  On the ride, he told me all about it.  I asked a lot of questions as it was really interesting to hear about the trip from an Israeli soldier's perspective.  His trip comprised of twenty-two to twenty-six year old, secular Canadians.  Things he took for granted as a Jew, even a non-religious one, living in Israel suddenly became extraordinary.  For example, he never thought of it as a choice whether or not to marry a Jewish girl.  But suddenly, he said, many of the participants had a Gentile for a significant others.  In Israel, I've come to realize, even secular (what we would call "cultural") Jews are more observant, or at least sensitive, than those in the States.  They do fast on Yom Kippur, spend Friday night meals with the family, keep kosher, maybe even occasionally wrap tefillin.  We talked some more.  And then got to base.

The last week on base went by like the previous two months.  I did mainly patrols of the border.  Sitting in the hummer for eight hours is never fun.  Sitting in it for twelve hours is definitely never fun.  From Wednesday to Sunday, like every weekend when the other platoons cycle to their weekend off base, I was in a hummer for half a day.  This time it was from noon to midnight.  The other time is better because you can drift off to sleep at any moment, wake up, and three hours have passed.  During the day, you feel every second of every minute of those twelve hours.  But it's nice to be able to take in the beautiful view as the sun sets.

For the last week of our service, the four of us knew that the Israelis would try to put us to work at kitchen duty or with the sarsap, pretty much the janitor of the base.  One day Matthew was at kitchen, another day it was Gidon.  For an afternoon I saw Adam there.  At the end of it all, I escaped unscathed.  On Sunday, I was done with patrols and had woken up early to guard from six to nine.  Instead of going back to sleep, I decided to work out with the few dumbbells we have on base.  Then I chatted with my brother and sister on Viber (thank you free technology!).  The minute I hung up the call, my commander saw me and told me I was in the kitchen.  Now, I love the kid.  He's a good commander and a great guy.  But I told him that I'm not gonna be stuck in the kitchen on my last day.  "Sorry, but that's not how I'm spending my last day in the IDF."  Ok then, he said, and went and found another American to throw in there.

Shmuel and Effy, rockin' out at Avicii

But earlier in the week, before the long patrols, I was scooped up to be the guy in the radio room's partner.  That shift was from midnight to six.  Wonderful.

No matter what I did that week, I did it with a smile on my face.  I went from counting down the months to the weeks to the days and finally to the hours.

D-Day for us came quickly on Monday.  Saturday evening to Sunday evening was the holiday of Shavuot.  That meant that the platoons that were home and usually return on Sunday didn't come until Monday.  That also meant that everyone who went home didn't get back until after lunch on Monday.  Which includes the jobniks who need to take in our equipment.

The night before, I guarded then had gathered together the last of my equipment.  The next morning I guarded again at six, Adam relieved me at nine, but I stayed a chilled with him for a couple hours.  We took off all the tape, cloths, bands, everything that we had put on our equipment to make it combat ready.  I traded my good equipment with guys for their bad equipment.  I gave them extra warm clothing and hand warmers that I would not need again.  A few of the guys gave me the traditional punch under the arm, then a big warm hug.

After lunch, the four of us made our way down to the battalion's base.  There, I turned in my bet/combat equipment: four uniform pants and four uniform tops, bet hat, two canteens, flashlight, gun strap, two long underwear tops and two long underwear bottoms, helmet and camouflouge cover, sleeping bag, knee pads, jacket, and the military bag.  Then we had to get signatures by the doctor, social worker, and a few other individuals.  Finally, we needed to turn in our guns.


I hate writing about this because it gets me angry even now.  The scenario was this: we all had M-4 rifles to turn in.  I also had my MAG heavy machine gun to sign over responsibility of it to another soldier in my platoon.  Well, the jerk-off 30 year old Russian dipshit who has no life and loves it when the eighteen year old girl soldiers give him the time of day is the only one in charge of the armory and would not let me turn in my M-4 until another soldier came to sign on the MAG.

Everyone else was waiting on me.  It was after five.  The bus left the base at quarter to six.  The next one: 8:30.  This guy was closing the armory at six for dinner and not opening it back up until the next day.  Basically, not until one of my Russian officers came over did anything get done.  Just the sheer frustration of the army threatened to keep me there for another day, screwing me out of my well-deserved chofshash time.

A beautiful day like this....?

But get off I did!  I turned in my M-4, collected my last signature on the document, ran back to the first office, turned it in, "so I'm on chofshash now?!  Whoohooooo!!!!"

The four of us took the bus back to Nahariyya...without our guns.  We had time to kill before the train going south, so we went to a nearby cafe and ordered a beer.  No one cared that we were in our uniforms.  We were done.  It was one of the best beers of my life.

Over the past week, I've split time between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem.  Traveling is always free in a uniform with a military ID.  Now, I have an ID called a "teudat lochem," a fighter's ID.  It allows me to travel free in civilian clothes.  Israelis receive it after two years of service.  Us lone soldiers in Machal received ours a few weeks ago.  Mine was mailed to David and Amy's apartment in Tel Aviv.

I returned to my apartment in Jerusalem for the next day.  I met with a friend from a program to Israel I had gone on the summer before the I joined the army.  That evening was a small engagement party for one of my roommates.  The next day, I didn't get off the couch until five in the afternoon.  Not hungover, just no need to move.

On Thursday, I arrived in Tel Aviv to prepare for an incredible night.  A bunch of us had bought tickets to the Avicii concert as a celebration of ending our service.  He's a new dj with an awesome setlist.  The concert was near Tel Aviv University, a twenty minute walk from David and Amy's apartment.  It was a great show!  The sun was coming up as I walked home after.

For Shabbat, Eliyahu, Shmaya and myself went to Jesse's place in Rana'ana.  We stayed there until Sunday.  It was relaxing and refreshing, great to see Jesse and Eliyahu outside of the army, and was a new part of the country I had yet to visit.  There are many Americans and Canadians who live in this small city and is definitely one of the nicer parts of the county.  Sunday was spent traveling to Jerusalem and back to Tel Aviv.  Today I finally went to the beach for the afternoon.  I'll probably pay for my red skin tomorrow.

But what do I care?  It's not like I have to go back to the army anytime!!!

...obviously Shmaya and I are gonna take advantage!!